Michael Jackson Moment

For the first time in my life, I held bitter resentment toward my Asian exterior. I suppose it has been something burning inside me, but it came into full effect yesterday while on the bus. Nothing out of the ordinary, but I just broke. Typical looks and conversations arose…

Random person: Where you from?
Me: America
RP: No, where you really from?
Me: I was born in America, but my parents are Korean
RP: Ah…Korea! I no tell different…China, Japan, Korea…all same same.
Me: (insert fake smile and look away)
RP: (stares at me the entire bus ride home)

I jumped off the bus, annoyed, but not more than usual…when a Filipina walks alongside me, talking loudly on the phone. (I thought “ugh, typical asian…”) But then, she’s dressed like a first class slut! Not to offend any of my Filipino friends, but many of the Filipina ladies here are prostitutes…which often leads men to think that I am a prostitute as well. (Since we all fall withing the "Asian" category.) On a daily basis, men will slow down there cars offering rides, follow me around markets, ask me to join them upstairs when I’m waiting outside a friend’s building, and on rare occasions follow me to my apt building where the security guard will have to tell them to buzz off… I’ve learned to ignore these events and take them in as the “norm” but yesterday, I was so angry and had bitter hatred toward the lady on the phone! I sped up my walk so others around me would not associate me with her…and then, I pass by two older Chinese women waiting at a taxi stand. They were (loudly) chatting away while one was poking and prodding through her friend’s hair pulling out gray strands… !!!! *

…and within that moment… I HATED my face. I wanted to have blond hair and blue eyes. I did not want to be associated with the Asian culture whatsoever…and I understood MJ (may he rest in peace).

Love,
Hannah…

*I am in no way blaming these events on the Chinese ladies or the Filipina…because I am well aware that Koreans often act in the same way… I am categorizing Asians in general.

"Shuay Shuay"

Hello all! I was internet-less for a couple weeks, refused to pay $140/month for dial-up speed internet! Found a cheaper/ more convenient alternative! A plug-in usb modem for $80/month. Same grueling snail-pace “shuay-shuay” speed though. It warmed my heart though when people asked for updates (especially min svensk kompisar! <3)

“Shuay-Shuay” – slowly, take your time, take it easy, or “calm yo-self!”

I’m beginning to realize that the Emirati culture is very much about the “shuay-shuay” ideal. There’s a ridiculously confusing “shuay-shuay” process to everything. A simple visit to the bank takes over an hour, going to the doctor takes over 2 hours, getting your couches switched out takes 2 months (but it FINALLY happened!), getting resources for your classroom takes…still don’t know because we’re still waiting on them, downloading a simple episode of Glee takes approx. 30 hours, etc. etc. etc.

But! I have a theory behind this! You see, the people who are doing the ground work aren’t Emirati. They are workers who have simply come to make money and leave as soon as they have made enough. Hence, they have no sense of responsibility or ownership to the country. Why should they care how the country is perceived? Well, what about the Emirati workers? There are no Emirati workers doing the grunt work…and for those who work…well… it’s hard for them to care and truly put in their all. First, the government covers their butt by giving them a couple thousand a month just because they’re “Emirati.” Secondly, they obviously feel superior to everyone else here. Argh! So annoying… I could be patiently waiting in line, and an Emirati walks in and will just cut in front of everyone. Grrr… NOT COOL! (doesn’t happen too often though.) It is kind of sad though… the Emirati Arabs here would not be able to survive speaking only Arabic. Restaurants, gas pumps, taxis, hotels, markets, shops, etc. are run by non-Arabic speaking workers, meaning if you don’t speak English, you won’t be able to do anything.

Ergh… I have so much more to say. I’ve been so bad about updating. :/ It’s like the “shuay shuay” mentality has rubbed off on me! Will try to update again tomorrow….Insh’Allah. :P


Love,
Hannah



P.S. Going home for eid! Arrive 9:30 pm at LAX on 26 November. Depart 10am on 3 December.

P.P.S Jag ska resa till sverige för valborg! Saknar många/mycket min korridor familj. :D

Blessed! I think...

To be frank, I've been trying to find a justifiable reason to return home ever since I left LAX... (ask Yosub, I was dying at JFK during my layover... thanks for the support buddy! hey! come to think of it... you were there with me in Thailand when I took off for Sweden also! aww... you're awesome!)

Here are some ultamatums I proposed...
1. "I will leave if I end up at a school that is more than 15 minutes away."
I'm one of the lucky teachers... my commute is only 10 minutes. It takes most of the teachers about 45 minutes to get to their school... without traffic.

2. "I will leave if I have two classrooms, one upstairs, one downstairs" (I really thought this would happen for about a week.)
I only have one classroom because I only have one class this yearrrrrrrrrr!!! woop!

3. "I will leave if the Arabic teacher in my classroom is a pain in my arse."
Ms. Amani is the sweetest lady ever!! Some of the teachers aren't so lucky... the teacher next door steals supplies from my friend! Some Arabic teachers show up late to their assigned period expecting the NEST to "cover for them." Some Arabic teachers do not give any freedom the the NEST in their classroom, and aren't even given spots to put supplies or put up decorations. My Arabic teacher however, Ms. Amani, is a sweetheart. She brings me all the supplies and manipulatives she has accumulated throughout the years... allows me to put up whatever decorations I want, and has given me full permission to use any supplies she has brought in for the classroom. :)

I think... all this proves to me that this is where I need to be. At least for now. No matter how much I miss non-humidity, Hanki, blueberry cheesecake from Urth, wearing what i want whenever i feel like it, honey bunches of oats, reliable internet connection, sunday morning breakfast, driving, pinkberry, suuuuushi, grapefruit tea from 85C, being able to plan in advance, mexican/korean/thai food, and most importantly friends & family.


Love,
Hannah




P.S. Need to make a correction on the address I posted previously.. Must include "Abu Dhabi Plaza Hotel Apartments."

Abu Dhabi Plaza Hotel Apartments (Rm.1004)
PO Box 52588
Abu Dhabi UAE

First Official Day

Had my first official day of school today.

Utter chaos.
Exhausting.
Confusing.
Frustrating.
Overwhelming.

Sorry, I sound super-negative right now, but I don't know how else to put it into words. Last Thursday (school week is Sunday-Thursday) as we* were leaving school, we learned that we will be getting our students only from 10:00 -11:30am today. Naturally, we all planned activities/games/lessons to cover that time... We found out today at 9am that plans have "changed" and that we will have the students from 9:30-12:30. No communication whatsoever! Only discovered this information because I went to an Arabic teacher to confirm our schedule, who was of course shocked that we did not know this information since it was clearly marked in the staff room. Yes, clearly marked, IN ARABIC!

...and umm...where are all these resources and supplies that supposedly exist in our school? Computer is not in working condition... I went out and spent $300 getting basic supplies last week (crayons, scissors, glue, paper, pencils...) Note that they had promised a classroom set of this stuff 2 weeks ago... beginning to learn that I will never get things done waiting around at their snail-pace.

hahaha and the moms!! they would sit in the classroom and chat! oh dear... in the middle of my attempted introduction to the students, a mom came up to me and started a full on conversation! "Where are you from?" "Is America nice?" "Do you like Abu Dhabi?" complete with getting her daughter out of her seat and personally introducing me to her... while the whole class was waiting...

and...i can't even describe the disorder...chaos...madness trying to get the students on the right bus afterschool.

Oh, and currently, I'm only teaching one 1st grade class... three 45-minute periods... err... so technically I'm a part-time teacher. But, I'm not complaining. :) I'm still getting paid as a full-time teacher. :P A bit worried though... don't know what they are going to dump on me for the extra 3 periods I have. Everything will work out, Insh'Allah.

On the bright side, the girls are sweethearts, and look soooo adorable in their hot pink uniforms. :) Can already spot out the attention seekers... I have 3 named Amna, 2 with the same last name... 2 named Reem, 2 named Maha.. haha. typical. (oh, and of course we didn't get an English class roster as promised. I had to ask a favor from one of my Arabic teacher friends to translate it for me...during her class! she was super helpful and understanding though.)

Regardless, I'm happy to be here and I'm learning/experiencing sooooooo much!
Hopefully my next update will be full of fun stories! :)


Love,
Hannah


*"we" refers to NEST (Native English Speaking Teachers)

"Miss Hannah"

Miss Hannah will be teaching two first grade classes in English, Math & Science at an all girls school! :)

Well, technically speaking it would be Kindergarten because I will be teaching 5 year olds, for the most part. I have been warned that I may have students of varying ages, anywhere from 4-9 yrs old! (ahk!) Kindergarten (referred to as "KG" here) is not required, so they say about half of my students will have gone to school before and half will be new to the system.

So why two first grade classes? Prior to this huge wave of NEST (Native English Speaking Teachers) coming (around 500), starting from grade 1, students had different teachers for each subject. It is the first time one teacher will be responsible for 3 subjects. (They are amazed that we are certified to teach all subjects.) There are seven 45-minute periods during the school day. English, Math, Science, Arabic, Religion (Islam), History + an appropriate elective (gym, art, music...) Obviously, I cannot teach Arabic, Islam & History, so I will have two groups of first graders where I will essentially teach the same lessons to for English, Math & Science. (I'll be teaching 6 periods, and the last period will be reserved for lesson planning.) Another reason why they do not want separate teachers for these subjects is because they want to formulate an integrated curriculum. Also, the core language in Mathematics and Science around the world is English, and in order to support students to participate internationally, English is essential.

The UAE strives to make its mark internationally and desires to become a cultural/monetary hub for the world. In order to do so, one step was to have their universities recognized internationally. This required the education to be primarily in English. It wasn't difficult to change this in their universities (they simply shipped over English speaking professors), but they soon realized that the students of their nations were not able to perform up to par to the universities' standards because they had inadequate preparations in English during their K-12 schooling. Hence, the high school graduates needed to spend another 1-2 years studying English to attend UAE universities. The Sheikhs (King/Princes in the UAE) became really disturbed by this and decided to reform their education system, which is why I have been presented with this opportunity. :)

Okay, back to my school. I will be teaching at Al Afaq Primary Model School starting...sometime soon. (It all depends on when Ramadan ends. School will start either on the 23rd, 24th, or 27th.) I really lucked out in soooo many ways. First, my school is still within city limits, which means that it's close to my apartment (takes less than 10-minutes by car without traffic). The majority of the schools are outside of the island of Abu Dhabi and are in the mainland. Many have to commute over 45 minutes, and in traffic can easily take 2 hours! Secondly, there are 7 NEST at my school! (There is a range of 2-7 NEST at every school.) Of the 7 teachers, I will have a team of 4 teachers (including myself) to plan the free-for-all curriculum for the 1st graders! The other 3 teachers will be nearby teaching 2nd grade. Lastly, my school is a MODEL school. This means that the Sheikhs have already been funding the school the past several years to promote English within the school. My school has a great resource room with Big Books, charts, and much much more! We also have computers, printers, projectors, and an ELMO (<- teacher term) in EVERY CLASSROOM! Many of the schools, especially those further out, do not have any English resources and NEST will have to provide things out of their own pockets. Since the Sheikhs directly fund these schools, only Emirati children are allowed to attend. Meaning they will all be rich, and have parents with very high expectations/are skeptical of "foreign teachers." Kind of intimidates me.

The school day runs from 7:30am-1:35pm everyday with 2 breaks. I will finish teaching at 12:50 and the last period will be for lesson planning. I'm excited! and scared!

Wish me luck! :)

Love, Hannah




P.S. The girls will be wearing HOT PINK uniforms! :) and they are only allowed to wear black, white or pink for their socks, shoes, and hair accessories. hahaha.

P.P.S. I'm also really nervous about how the students and parents will perceive me. There is a blatant social hierarchy here where the Emarati rule over all. Take note that 95% of the working class here are Asians from the Philippines, Malaysia, Indonesia, India and Pakistan. I constantly get weird stares from people being the only Asian in the group when I am hanging out with "white" people from the U.S., Canada, Australia... (other NEST teachers). It's sad, but the people here, including some Westerners, look down on the working class. For instance, yesterday, I was wearing my shirt that says "the best girls are from Los Angeles," and two "white" men walk by me. One reads my shirt aloud, scoffs, and says to his friend "like she's ever been there." #@$%@#$!

A couple days ago, I was standing in line at the market, had put all my groceries on the conveyer belt and was next in line, when an Emarati kid cuts right in front of me with his bottle of juice without even thinking twice! !#@$!#$ The Emarati kids especially have no respect for Asian women because most of their nannies/maids are Filipino...and they walk all over them. You should see these kids when they are at the mall with their nannies. How in the world are they going to perceive me as their teacher then?!

Again, wish me luck! :)

Insh'Allah Society

Since day one, the UAE has been cultivating my capacity for patience. Coming here, I wanted to give off the impression that I was chill, ready to go with the flow, and ease myself into this new culture. That didn't work out quite as planned... my frustration bubbled up quite quickly. Partially, the problem was that I wouldn’t own up to my “American-ness.” I couldn’t and didn’t want the typically seen uptight, controlling, “American” side seep through my exterior. I refused to believe that I was that person. But, when money was running low and a week had passed with no news on our paycheck, our passports had disappeared with no communication on how long visas would take to process, buses that my company had promised never showed up, “work days” ended without knowing what was in store for us the following morning, internet was cruddy/slow/expensive/unreliable, it was hard to mask my irritation. Everywhere I went, the response was "Insh'Allah"... translated to "God-willing." A typical answer would be, “You will have your passports in one week, Insh’Allah.” (It has been three weeks and no word as of yet.)

I resented the term. It seemed to translate to: “Yeah, we’ll give the situation a little nudge, but if the man upstairs doesn’t approve, oh well, not our problem.” It was easy to think that everyone was just lazy and didn’t want to take responsibility for anything. Or better yet, just said answers that they knew wanted to be heard just to get us off their back. I simply wanted to facts and figures, the plain truth and for these people to step out of their “Insh’Allah” umbrella and take some ownership.

But, three weeks in, I am learning the true essence and meaning behind “Insh’Allah.” It’s a combined term used when you have given a sufficient amount of effort, or when it is something you truly desire to happen, but when you are humbling yourself before God and acknowledging that through it all, He is still the man in charge. However, it also is given as a subtle warning to its receiver as “be patient, things will work out, just give us some time.” …and when I do take a step back and realize that there are certain circumstances that just cannot be controlled, and no one really is at “fault,” I find ease and comfort in knowing that life’s problems and solutions are indeed, “Insh’Allah.”

Given this new mindset, I am at comfortable knowing that

…I will get my residency visa before my tourist visa runs out in 4 days, Insh’Allah.
…my classroom and grade level will be figured out prior to the start of school, Insh’Allah.
…when my pay gets deposited into a bank account that has my name spelled wrong (Hanah), I will get access to my money, Insh’Allah.
…my 70’s décor couch and curtains will get switched out, Insh’Allah.

And most importantly, everything will work out at home, Insh’Allah.

Where am I?!

I pride myself in being good with directions... and I usually love unfolding maps and navigating my way through cities... but I just can't figure out Abu Dhabi! Streets have several names, and the locals throw out names that don't exist anywhere on paper. It's like someone one day decided to call it one name and just went with it. I barely got around to figuring out how to direct taxi drivers back to my apartment the first few days. (That is once I got a cab... you really need to hail one down. None of this waiting in a queue and standing on the curb as cabs pull up to the taxi stand... no no no...you need to get out into the street and hail one down.) Anyways, amateur Hannah would get in a cab and say "Hi-- Abu Dhabi Plaza Hotel Apartments, please." The taxi driver, usually an underpaid, unappreciated, friendly Pakistani who had been working 16 hours straight, would stare back at me annoyed and confused. This will send me in a frantic flurry because of course he had promptly turned on the meter just as soon as my tushy had contact with the seat and there were a crowd of wait-ers just outside who would gladly take my place. "6th and 7th Street?" ... "Najda and Electra?" (Note that the official name for Najda/6th on maps is one street that changes from Um El Nar to Banyas to Sea Palace Rd & Electra/7th is Sheikh Zayed the First Street) ... "Oh, umm...Green House Center?" Finally, a sparkle of recognition in the cab driver's eye as he says, "Ahh, Green House. Yes, Najda." 2 weeks later, pro Hannah confidently steps off the curb, waves down a cab, and simply states, "Green House Center on Najda, please."

But, it's no wonder nobody has ever heard of Abu Dhabi before and the driving is a chaotic mess... there are no rules, directions or addresses. Everything is relative to landmarks or stores, both of which change every couple of months.

So, where exactly am I? My "official address" is as follows:
Abu Dhabi Plaza Hotel Apartments (Rm. #1004)
Najda Street (6th) corner of Electra Street (7th)
(Above Green House Center)
Abu Dhabi, UAE

According to locals, all the DHL drivers and UPS drivers are completely used to this. I have a friend who was staying in the Hilton and when he asked the receptionist which address he should get his official documents to, he matter-of-factly stated, "Hilton Hotel on Corniche Street (or 1st) near the Marina Mall, Abu Dhabi, UAE." He relayed the address to his sister in the States, who wrote it on the FedEx envelope and lo and behold, the letter was waiting for him the next day.

On an entirely different note, I just watched the sneak peek for GLEE- Gold Digger. SO EXCITED! Any advice on how I'll be able to watch it here?

Love,
Hannah


P.S. Not that I'm implying anything :)... but simple letters/postcards can be easily addressed to:
Hannah Kim (#1004)
P.O. Box 52588
Abu Dhabi, UAE